On my dating life.

“Miss – can I ask you a real question?”
“No, only fake ones.”
“Okay, well I’m going to ask you a real one anyway – Do you only date men with glasses?”
“Uh, no. I mean, technically, people dating who both wear glasses is harder because, you know, physical boundaries and whatnot.”
<Nods at my photo wall>”But all your ex-boyfriends have glasses.”
“Who are you talking about?”
<Points at photos of me with pretty much every single one of my bffs’ SOs.>
“No. Those are not my exes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure.”
“But, like, what about those two? Ain’t nobody gets that close to someone they’re not dating.” <Points to two specific photos.>
“Oh, no. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. No.”
“That’s a lot of nos.”
“Yes. Those guys are just my friends, like, married to my other friends.”
<Thinks.> “I hope I have friends like you one day.”

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