Month: May 2015

On my future job choices.

<Student asks to go to the restroom, gets two steps out the door and stops to have a full-blown convo with his boy.>
(super-quickly and projected, like a Southern grandma) “Did I teeell you that you could go outside and go to the bathroom and talk to people or did I juuuust tell you that you could go to the bathroom? Get back in here, right now, baby child.”
<other children giggle and comment>
“Miss, have you ever thought about being a rapper? ‘Cause you just hit that mug.”

“You could be the next Iggy.”

On socks and dreams.

“Miss, can you help me think of an onomatopoeia word?”
“Sure, um- wait, actually…”
<I pull up my pants leg to reveal my socks.>
“Oh, Miss. Oh, no.”
“What? You’ve seen my other clothes. Are you surprised?”
“No. But just the fact that you own those socks…and I bet this is like a dream come true for you, isn’t it?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“That’s the key, right there. If your dreams are about making use of your lame teacher socks, then you’ll always be happy.”

Photo May 12, 10 56 56 PM

On reasons they appreciate me.

<This week was Teacher Appreciation week, and while it was pretty hectic, my students gave me quite a few notes. These are some of my favorite quotes from them.>

“I only do my work because I didn’t want to disappoint you, which is kinda cool even though it’s not the best thing about me.”

“I’ve never had a teacher who encouraged us the entire year until now.”

“Honestly, you FAM.”

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m worthless but then I come to your class, and you make me feel like I can do way more things even when you’re mad at me, or maybe because you’re mad, I don’t know…”

“…and thanks for not having an ugly classroom.”

“Thanks for dealing with me this year.”

“Miss, you the REAL OT.”

“Remember, do unto others as you want them to do unto you, so I want a letter about how awesome I am in return.”

“I am so glad I got to spend this amazing year with you. And that you got to spend it with me because I’m the coolest.”

“Thank you for understanding me and believing in me because I don’t have that many people that believes in me!”

“Thank you for offering us students an innovative, interactive, and entertaining way to take in academic content.”

“Thanks for not getting mad at me, because I know I can get pretty annoying.”

“You the real MVP!”
<That one came with swag – see below.>

Photo May 08, 4 42 02 PM

On May the Fourth.

<Today, I wore my Darth Vader dress. Apparently, though my 2B had a subdued in-person reaction, not so much on social media.>

Photo May 04, 5 12 34 PM

“Miss, you know you’re famous, right?”
“Oh, am I on Snapchat?”
“Twelve times.”

“You’d better be quiet, or she will choke you out.”

“Say, ‘I’m your mother’ in a really deep voice!”
“I can’t do it.”
“That’s not what Vader would say.”

<Student talks during reading. I stop and stare with pursed lips. Student commences fake-choking and falls on the floor, apparently dead.>

“Did that lava really hurt you?”

“I loved you in The Lion King.”

<General Vader breathing. During the entirety of Book 16 of the Odyssey.>

“Where’s your lightsaber?”

“Oh, see, now I get it – you’re ACTUALLY a machine. This explains so much.”

On going the extra mile.

Yesterday, one of my students came in and brought me her monster project. Let me just note that she didn’t like the one we made in class, so she chose to take the initiative to go home, make her own from her own supplies, and bring it to me. With no ulterior motive.

So, while there is a funny little quip from her in here, this post deserves to happen because kiddos like this make me remember why learning is awesome.

“Miss V – here’s my monster project!”
<Places amaze-balls monster on my desk.>

Photo Apr 30, 3 40 32 PM
“But you turned one in already!”
“I know, but I really didn’t like it, and I wanted my monster to be all it could be. Like the army, but evil.”
“This is fantastic. I’m going to put it on my desk and look at it every time the kids are bad and I want to lose faith in humanity.”
“So, most of this class period then.”