On shoes.

“Why are you walking so sloooooooow?”
“These shoes are two sizes too big.”
“Why are you wearing shoes too sizes too big?”
“They’re someone else’s.”
“Okay, why are you wearing someone else’s shoes?”
“I stayed out last night and I lost my shoes.”
<WTF look from me>
“I have an interesting life you know nothing about.”
<Scrutinizing look from me>
“Don’t fall down the stairs.”

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