Month: September 2015

On sound effects.

“Miss, do you always wear those boots with that shirt?”
“I don’t know, probably, why?”
“I just think it’s cool that your outfit has sound effects.”
“What?”
“You know, your shirt has horses, and your boots clip clop, so it’s like you’re a horse or maybe, like they’re actually running…” <students make clip-clop noises>
“Um, yeah. That’s not on purpose.”
<in a whisper> “She doesn’t even notice that she’s doing it, guys. That’s pretty bad.”

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On shared humors.

“Who wants to help pass back the notecards?”
<Most ridiculous child in class.>”OH!OH! ME!ME!”
“Really.”
“Yes, I SWEAR, I’ll be respectful and stuff for the rest of the day.”
“Okay, why not.”
<I pass back grade reports silently. Student calls out names as he passes papers back, then gets to the fourth one or so.>
“Oh, here it is.” <clears throat> “DEEE-NICE? Who’s DEEE-NICE?”
<I whip around. So fast.>”Shut. Up. You watch Key and Peele?”
“Miss, YOU watch Key and Peele?”
“UM, YEAH. That clips is like my life. I’ve been OBSESSING about it this week. You can as Mrs. Williams.”
“Same. Same.”

In case you haven’t seen it…

On teaching.

“Miss, are you still going to let me teach tomorrow?”
“The warm up, yes.”
“OH MY GOD. Okay. Can I see it so I can prepare?”
“Really?”
“Yes! I’m not you, Miss, I can’t just make it up off the top of my head!”
“I’m glad to see you’re taking it seriously.”
“Education touches the future, Miss. Or whatever that saying is.”

On my settings.

“So, because this is College Week, we’ll be talking about your futures each 2B class a little bit – and of course, I’ll be wearing black and gold to rep my own alma mater every day.”
“Man, you really don’t even HAVE a chill button, do you?”
“That’s not one of her setting options.”

On phone jail.

<A student gets his phone taken up in the library and placed in phone jail.>
“Where’s phone jail?”
“It’s on that table.”
“How you bail it out?
“You can’t – it has to serve its time until the end of class.”
“It’s gonna come out all tattooed and hard.”

On meeting their parents.

<Today was a long one – but I had more parents visit me than ever before…and their kids were SO entertaining.>

Former student’s parent: “Miss VanSickle! Oh, I miss talking to you!”
Current student’s parent: “She talks to parents, oh good!”
Current student: “She talks to everyone, Mom, don’t feel special.”

“Oh, hi! I’m Miss VanSickle, it’s nice to meet you!”
“This is my mom.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That you have to put up with him.”
“Oh, no, he’s great! I love having him in class!”
“See, Mom? I told you she’s crazy.”

Student’s mom: “How can you have attitude with a teacher who’s wearing hot dog earrings?

“She’s the cool teacher.”
“I bet you say that about all of us.”
<Parents> “NOPE.”
<Little sister> “No, she doesn’t talk to the other ones.”

On class pets.

“Miss, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Who feeds Sam when we’re all at home on the weekend?”
“Sam?”
“Yes.”
“Who’s Sam?”
<Half the class points to the corner of the room, where I glance, and see this:>
Photo Sep 11, 4 11 29 PM“When did you name the cat?”
“His name is Sam.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
<Silence and shrugs.>
“That’s a dry erase cat, I don’t feed it.”
“But we do!”
“Is that why there are little paper balls all over that corner every B day?”
“That’s cat food.”