Month: March 2017

On Vegans.

“Are vegans really vegans? Because, like, they drink fish homes.”

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On seeing me again

<While filling up at Quiktrip, I ran into a former student.>
“Miss VanSickle!”
“Hey, baby, how are you?”
“I’m good Miss, I’m good. I wasn’t sure it was you, y’know?”
“I know, I look different.”
“I know, I was like, ‘Damn, that girl looks like a younger hotter version of Miss V, and then you turned and I saw your tattoo.”
“Thanks?”
“It’s a compliment.”
“If you have to say it…but even if I’m hotter, why do you think I looked older when I taught you? Because the last time I had you, I was like, 24, and now I’m almost 30.”
“I know where you’re going with this, and I don’t like it.”
“It was your fault.”
“See, I said I didn’t like it…”

On Dr. Seuss consequences.

<I had my students practice STAAR strategies with picture books last week and this was overheard.>
“Aw, MAN, he straight up RATTED on that star-bellied-thingy. I’d cut him.”
“Oh, and look, they’re going to end up friends. Because this is a book for kids.”
“What can I say, man? Sneetches get beaches.”

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On what we have in common.

“Guys, c’mon, STAAR isn’t a race where you need to beat each other, we can all be successful.
<rolls eyes> “Yeah, c’mon guys, we can beat the STAAR *together!*”
“Thanks for that facetiousness.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You right though, Miss, we all come from Harambe.”