Ridiculousness

On their own growth

<Today was Signing Day across the US, and one of my babies from my first year at high school (4 years ago) participated.>

“Look at you, my little baby-child, all grown and mature…”
“Ah, come on, Miss! I haven’t changed that much, have I?”
“Oh, you’ve still got that same dimpled smile, but you have definitely matured since I taught you and actually needed to call you that full, middle-name-included-name so you understood how much trouble you were in.”
“You were wrong for that.”
“You deserved it – and don’t tell me it didn’t work when I needed it to…”
“Name one time that you ‘needed to’ because I was too immature.”
“Uh, how about the time that you performed a flying tackle on your friend who walked in 15 minutes late, slammed him to the ground and completely disrupted my classroom?”
<Thinks.> “Yeah, but that was a good tackle, though, Miss, you gotta admit.”

 

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On anticipating plot twists

<As I set up The Outsiders to in the computer so we can watch what we just read, the students chatted with me.>
“What this movie, Miss? Is for children?”

“Noooo…it’s the book we’re reading, remember? What happened in chapter 1 so far?”
“Oh, he got beat up.”
“Is not for kids.”
“No, not really. It’s PG-13. That’s why I had to send that note? To your parents?”
“Miss- ¿hay alguna parte sexy?”
“Uh….yes? There is? Even though I hate that I understood that question…”
“Ayyy siiiii, Miss. Okay. We watch.”

They’re going to be so disappointed when they realize I was referring to Rob Lowe getting out of the shower…

On eternity.

“Miss VanSickle, the next time you talk to God, can you tell him to make sure he lets me into heaven?”
“No, because then I have to deal with you for all eternity.”
“I’m’a move in right next door to you! And then I’m gonna take you to visit all the hermit crabs and hamsters I killed on accident.”
“You’ll be like, doing your thing, and then I—- gon’ pop out of the cloud like, ‘Hey Miiiiiiiiissssss.'”
“No.”
“Yes. I’m gonna move in on the other side, so it’ll be like I—-, then you, then me.”
“And you can’t touch us or you’ll get banished and you’ll have to be nice to us forever!”
“Miss VanSickle’s gonna end up in Hell, y’all.”

On Fbook personalities

<Today, to infuse some levity into my lesson on theme, I included a bonus warm up by asking them to identify the theme of Pastor Fred’s video.>

“That’s me. That’s me in 10 years.”
“10 years? That’s me tomorrow.”
“He know he right. He know.”

On my royalty and outfits.

“Miss V— did your mother not let you pick your own outfits as a kid or something?”
“Not often. And she made me wear those like, footed stockings all the time?”
“That explains it.”
“Always the parents’ fault.”
“What, do you guys not like my outfit today?”
“It’s pink and purple and furry and sparkly and fluffy…”
“That’s why it’s awesome.”
“…right…”
“I like it. You look like a princess, Miss.”
“Thank you, I AM a princess.”
“She looks like a fairy princess.”
“Can you do magic, Miss?”
“Not so much.”
“You could magically change my grade to a 100 for the year, I bet.”
“No, that’s not really something I can do.”
“Can a fairy queen do that? Because, like, we can make that promotion happen.”
“Dude, I don’t know what fairy queens wear, and I’m not sure it’s worth a 100 to find out.”