On non-mistakes.

<I threaten to call one of my favorite students’ moms because he won’t stop bouncing ON (not in) his chair.>
“Man, Miss, don’t! I’ll calm down. I already got sent to the SRO today.”
“Stuff happened. I don’t know. It’s fine now, let’s not go there.”
“I get it, mistakes were made…”
“Nah, it wasn’t a mistake, I definitely meant to do it.”


On how high school determines college outlook.

“Miss, what college should I go to?”
“Yeah, I know that’s where you went, but where should I go?”
“Look, kid, I don’t know what to tell you – I went to Mizzou, I loved it. I didn’t go anywhere else, so I didn’t love anywhere else. You ask me where to go, I’m going to say Mizzou. Because it’s the best.”
“Yeah, but you went to M——— High School, so I mean, of course you love it.”
“And where exactly are you going to high school?”
<teacher look>
“Yeah, I KNOW, I know, but does going to M——– mean that I HAVE to go to Mizzou?”
“No, it means that if you’re as awesome as me, you’ll go to Mizzou. If you’re not, you’ll go to like, UNT, or SMU, or Texas. Basically some other college that’s decent but nowhere near as awesome as the University of Missouri.”
“Actually, Mr. _______ says it means you have to go to E——— and drop out.”
“He’s not….totally wrong, but…that’s not an option I’d advise…”
“FINE. Fine. You win, you trapped me, I’ll go to Mizzou.”