On my musical preferences. Again.

<Former student calls me to the door, where two more are with him, to ask a very important question.>
“Miss, were you listening to Shots by LMFAO this morning?”
“Immunizations are a very important part of leading a healthy, successful life as an American citizen.”
“Miss, really.”
“You know that’s not what the song’s about.”
<Looking at my favorite of the three.> “Sure it is. D—- knows that, don’t you?”
“Yep. All about vaccines.”
“Oh come on, it lists off shot names.”
“Yeah, so you know which ones to get.”
<sings, in rhythm>”Flu! Chicken pox! Measles! Malaria!”
“Malaria isn’t actually a shot, though…”
“Miss, come on, I’m trying to help you out here.”

On my outside life and trickiness.

<Talking to two former students in the hallway before class, one of my new freshmen comes up.>
Current student: “Miss, were you driving by Agnew two days ago at like, 9:15pm in a silver car with your windows down and a white dog sticking its head out the window while you were playing the Jump On It song?”
Both former students chrorus: “Yes.”
“Really? Because it looked like you. Okay-“
“Wait, son-“
“You said too much. Most of that’s probably right. But you don’t know how to ask it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Miss V, which part of that whole thing was wrong?”
“It wasn’t the ‘Jump On It’ Song.”
“Yes it was!”
“No, it was a song called Apache by the Sugarhill Gang that came out in the 90s. The Jump On It song was a 2000s remake by Sir Mixalot that talks about specific cities. It’s also good, but not the same.”
<Current to former> “She’s complicated and tricky.”
“Most women are.”
“But Miss V, she really is. No guy has managed to figure her out yet.”
“Hey now-“
“How do you know that?”
<Picks up my left hand.>
“I don’t see no ring on this finger.”

On song choice.

<I put on Scott Bradlee and the Postmodern Jukebox during independent reading time for background music.>
“Miss, why can’t we listen to something good?”
“We are listening to something good.”
“This is not as good as ‘Get Low.'”
“That song came out when I was in high school.”
“Are you saying you know all the words or something?”
“I’m saying that when I’m trying to get my dogs in the house, I say, [in rhythm]’Ah, Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet.'”
“It’s my job. Now hush and read.”

(This happeningĀ is more legit if you know that I have a dog named Skeeter. And if you know they radio edit of ‘Get Low.’)