<Today, I wore contacts all day for the first time ever. Here are some of my students’ reactions.>
“Miss, you blind now?”
“Miss, did you break your glasses?”
“Oh, you are wearing contact? You look…”
“Pretty, say she looks pretty.”
“Yeah, okay, pretty…”
“Contacts? On you? Do I like it? I feel like I like it.”
“Where’s Miss V—?”
“She’s right there.”
“Nah, that’s not her, that’s some lady who doesn’t wear glasses.”
“Oh you a real G now.”
<At a soccer game, a parent from the other side said something incredibly offensive, and I literally jumped out of my seat to my kids’ defense.>
MHS parent: “No mija!” <pats my arm>
<Former student comes clambering down the stands> “Yo, Miss, it’s aiight, it’s aiight.”
“I’m fine, D- but thanks.”
“You for real, huh? You even took yo’ glasses off and everything. Put those back on, Miss.”
“D- come on. I’m wearing contacts.”
“For real? I just thought that was the Miss V version of taking your earrings off and I was like, ‘YOOOOOOO, shit’s about to get REAL!’ But I guess you came ready to fight, huh?”
<Today was Signing Day across the US, and one of my babies from my first year at high school (4 years ago) participated.>
“Look at you, my little baby-child, all grown and mature…”
“Ah, come on, Miss! I haven’t changed that much, have I?”
“Oh, you’ve still got that same dimpled smile, but you have definitely matured since I taught you and actually needed to call you that full, middle-name-included-name so you understood how much trouble you were in.”
“You were wrong for that.”
“You deserved it – and don’t tell me it didn’t work when I needed it to…”
“Name one time that you ‘needed to’ because I was too immature.”
“Uh, how about the time that you performed a flying tackle on your friend who walked in 15 minutes late, slammed him to the ground and completely disrupted my classroom?”
<Thinks.> “Yeah, but that was a good tackle, though, Miss, you gotta admit.”
<Today, I wore a sleeveless dress and one of my students noticed my newest tattoo, as seen below.>
“Miss, are you loading?”
“You know what an ellipsis is.”
“You look like you’re loading.”
<😐>
😁
“Miss! Can we have candy?”
“If you explain what you did to earn it.”
“No, not today. Today, we watch a movie.”
“Like, ten minutes of one…”
“Yes, but we need candy because Americans eat candy when they see movies, and we’re learning to be American.”
Fair enough. I gave them candy.
<As I set up The Outsiders to in the computer so we can watch what we just read, the students chatted with me.>
“What this movie, Miss? Is for children?”
“Noooo…it’s the book we’re reading, remember? What happened in chapter 1 so far?”
“Oh, he got beat up.”
“Is not for kids.”
“No, not really. It’s PG-13. That’s why I had to send that note? To your parents?”
“Miss- ¿hay alguna parte sexy?”
“Uh….yes? There is? Even though I hate that I understood that question…”
“Ayyy siiiii, Miss. Okay. We watch.”
They’re going to be so disappointed when they realize I was referring to Rob Lowe getting out of the shower…
<I open an email.>
“Ooooooooooh! How sweet!”
“What is it, Miss?”
“Yeah, boy or girl?”
“Oh, no, it’s not a baby, it’s pan dulce.”
<I drag the email over so they can see.>
“You made the noise people make for babies…because you saw a picture of pan dulce.”
“Yes.”
“Miss, come on, what’s wrong with you?”
<All at once, in response to the student:>
“SHE LOVES FOOD, OKAY? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE HER.”
“Bro, you can’t even be surprised anymore.”
“I don’t know you.”
“You do you, Miss, you do you.
<pause>
“Thank you for your support.”
Image credit: Eric E. Castro @ https://www.flickr.com/photos/ecastro/5164162429
Without giving too much detail that would reveal a little much about who and where I teach, I’d like to offer a bit of an explanation for why I’ve been so silent for the past few months.
First, it was because I was feeling frustrated and negative after some choices about my position at work were taken out of my control. The impending changes to my job were making me resistant to seeing the good that might come (still waiting on that, for the most part).
In addition, our school has been inundated with tragedy for the past few months. Laughing didn’t happen very often, and when it did, it almost felt wrong. The tragedies continue to pile up, but as I told my juniors this week, part of surviving the world we now live in is being able to find the good amongst the bad. Being able to recognize what brings us joy in the midst of sadness.
We all need some positivity in this life, regardless of how happy we are or if everything is following the plan that we’ve laid out for ourselves. And so, I’m going to resume my blog, and hope that it brings me the happiness that I need.
<This week, one of my best friends is in town. Last week, I was discussing the impending visit with a student of mine when this discussion happened.>
“So, who’s coming to visit?”
“One of my best friends.”
“You got more than one?”
“Yes, the one who’s coming to visit is a doctor in Baltimore, and then my other one lives in New York and works for Rolling Stone.”
<pause>
“Miss, do you just like, feel bad about yourself all the time?”
<Today, we had no internet. Which means the kids who usually zone out on their phones were instead running their mouths like crazy. I decided to make the most of this.>
“Y’all…y’all…baby children…<finally yelling> GUYS!”
<Most students quiet down.>
“Okay, look, fam, this isn’t going to work. I can’t yell all day. So, let’s try a new thing. Y’all know how some elementary teachers have like a thing, where they go, ‘Reeeed Robin’ and all the kids answer ‘Yuuummmmm?’ “
“Miiiiss, nooooooo.”
“Yes, this is where we’re at. But as I was driving to work this morning, I made myself a promise. So let’s see if you can finish our attention getter without me explaining.”
<I clear my throat.>
<Clap.>
“Sit down!”
<Clap clap.>
Half the class: “BE HUMBLLLLEEEEE!”
“Yeah, that’s a thing we’re doing now.”
For adults who don’t listen to Kendrick, see below:
Stuff High Schoolers Say 