Month: May 2016

On my continued life failure.

<A former student, who delighted in teasing me my first three years teaching, came to visit me this week.>

“Hey, kid, you know what Miss VanSickle used to tell us like her first year teaching?”
“Please don’t.”
“She told us that teaching was only temporary and she was going to make a living -”
“Stoooooop.”
“- being a published novelist, but look – she’s still here, six years later.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
“So how’s that book going?”

This kid legit made a three-year career out of teasing me about writing. For example, On my writing talent.

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On Rihanna

<Student sings “Work” to make fun of me requiring them to focus.>
“UGGGHHHH. That song is the worst.”
“Right? What is she even trying to sing? Rihanna needs to get her life.”
“LEAVE Rihanna alone!”
“But she’s so gross lately.”
“Just let Rihanna be Rihanna. She lets you be you!”
“But I’m not famous.”
“Exactly. So maybe you should get YOUR life.”
“You have really strong feelings about Rihanna.”
“She’s my spirit celebrity.”

On how they all turned out.

<This week, I had a special visitor – one of the kiddos I taught my very first year teaching (and my second year, and my third year…) who is now graduating on time. He entertained me for just a bit, like he used to when he made common appearances on my first student blog – this was his last one: Change in College Degrees .>

<Looking at a photo of my former students that I keep in the classroom.>
“Well, so, what about her?”
“Oh, she’s still in school, yeah. She’s got like two more years, though, plus…”
“Plus?”
“She turned out like, really hot.”
“DUDE.”
“What? She did, and no one expected it.”

On Mother Teresa

“Okay, this is a very good poster, I just have a couple of questions.”
“What’s up?”
“Her shoes…”
“Yeah, we gave her Yeezys, Miss.”
“Why?”
“We thought she deserved them, because she was so giving…we wanted to give to her. To make her cool and all, you know?”
“You realize that Mother Teresa was dead before these shoes came out.”
“Yeah, but that’s okay.”
“Alright…um, her nails? Or I guess just the one?”
“Oh, yeah, those are on fleek, huh, Miss?”
“Sure. But are we sure that a nun would have nails like this? A nun?”
“She’s lit, Miss.”
“Okay.”

It actually is a pretty fab poster, so I’ll let them take some artistic license.
Photo May 12, 11 43 21 AM

On ringpops.

“Miss V, that’s a pretty big rock you’ve got there.”
“Yes it is.”
“Some guy must have spent a lookout of money on it.”
“A lady, but yeah.”
“Oooohhhh, I see you being all progressive and stuff. Like Ellen.”
“But what about Benji?”
“He’s never bought me a ring this big.”
“Yeah, you kind of have to say yes when it’s such a huge rock.”
“But what happens when you eat it all?”
“Then she’s divorced, duh.”
“That’s a pretty short marriage, Miss.”
“Only kind I’d ever want, really.”
“NO ONE CAN TIE MISS VANSICKLE DOWN. YOU MUST LET HER FLY AND BE FREE. BUT NOT LIKE A DUCK BECAUSE SHE HATES THOSE. LIKE A MAJESTIC PEACOCK.”
“Dude, I don’t think peacocks can fly.”
“They can, for short distances.”
“Why do you know that?”
“Because she’s magic. Duh.”

Photo May 03, 2 48 15 PM